Rex raising the flag at the Trout Ranger Guard Station in the Golden Trout Wilderness. 

Dear Madeline,

So many years have passed and another birthday has come and gone. We don't know if you ever received the cards and money gifts our family sent to you for your graduation, because all we know is that the postal money orders were cashed.

We have learned that your mother and grandmother have had some legal troubles. I am sorry for you to have to go through this. It's difficult when those we love suffer.

Your grandmother Mildred passed away peacefully in hospice in September of 2019. Eleanor is living in Portland, OR, and is traveling here for Thanksgiving. Amelia lives in an apartment on the ranch and is attending community college majoring in business and art. Jalene got a masters in social work and counsels youth. Erin works for a non-profit national business supporting access to clean water for disadvantaged schools and communities. Your dad worked as a park ranger supervising water service at Yosemite until a short while ago. Right now he's living on the ranch and having a sabbatical.

Rex and I are retired and active in the Back Country Horsemen of California. We spent the summer on pack trips to the backcountry. Rex is on the local rodeo board and next month we are getting to go to the National Finals Rodeo for a week.

We are so sorry that it has never worked out for you to get to know your father's family and your father, but while there is life, there is hope. Just know that I don't hold anything against you, but think of you with love and understanding.

Your U-li-si

Dear Madeline,

I forgot to mention, your great-aunt Nola Roberts Petrick, had her first grandchild born Friday morning.  They live in Colorado, and the baby's name is Russell. 

Also, here is a photo of your Augie (grandfather in Cherokee) and Amelia, we are having a picnic where he is taking down the old home of your birth grandparents John and Regina Vincent.  It's in Three Rivers, where your father, and your aunts Jalene and Erin, and their families live.

Dear Madeline,
,
I'm told you're 18 and an adult now.  It seems hard to believe.  Your father has kept his FaceBook profile public for the reason that, if you are ever looking for him, you'll be able to find him.

We live in the same place we always have, and I have more hope that you will look for us and want to meet us--your father's side of your family.

Your Aunt Erin's father-in-law, Jim McWilliams, is in hospice care, he continues to live with them and just recently discovered that the problems he was having was because his cancer returned.  Erin and other family members are staying with him always, and keeping him comfortable.

The home that was built by your grandfather Jim Vincent and my husband, Rex, back in the early '70's is being demolished
to make way for a new home by the new buyers.  Rex and your Aunt Eleanor and her fiance Leo have spent the last week taking materials to be used in other projects.  Monday the big equipment will be brought on site and take it down quickly.

Eleanor and Leo are planning a "Tiny House."  We also want to build a playhouse from the materials here at Yokohl for the grandchildren, of whom you are the eldest.

The weather has been unseasonably warm, high '60's and '70's, but this next week will be much colder, possible rain and snow and temperatures in the low '30's.  That probably seems warm by your standards!

I've left the federal court and am beginning a private practice for the first time.  It's exciting but also frightening--fortunately I have good friends that are very competent and helpful!

Well, goodbye for now, if you ever come across this blog, I'd sure appreciate hearing from you.

Lots of love,
Your U Li Si.

Dear Madeline,
As your birthday nears once again I think of you more.  You are growing up and will soon be an adult!  I'm sure this is an exciting, yet perhaps frightening thought.  I'm sure your mother has raised you to be a mature and responsible young woman (how I hated that phrase when I was your age).  We would wish you could have also grown up with the influence of your father, but it appears it is not to be.  Life is long, but childhood is short.

I despair of you receiving a gift from us, but will try once more.

We do love you, and are confident that one day we will meet you again so that we can tell you that in person.

Love,

U li si

 

Last weekend I rode my birthday horse 50 miles in 12 hours with your Aunt Eleanor.

Dear Madeline,

Well, the school year has now ended for everyone, we all hope that you had a very good year and look forward to a wonderful summer vacation! 

Kaweah Pony Club has merged with Fresno Pony Club and your aunts Eleanor and Amelia are traveling there twice a month for meetings.  Your cousins, Finn and River, as well as Sunora and Lily, are meeting at Yokohl a few times a month to take riding lessons from Eleanor.

Eleanor will be traveling up to Ponderosa once a month to train with Boz again this summer, and she's planning on returning to College of the Sequoias in the fall.  The days are so hot here now that she stays indoors and paints during the hottest parts of the day, and only rides in the early mornings and in the evenings.  She gave me a lesson on my birthday horse, Callie Mia, yesterday.  Eleanor is on FaceBook as "Eleanor Caudle."  She has a new horse she's training and recently got two more to train and sell--a pinto mare pony, Katie, and a Shetland gelding, Tango 2.

Amelia will start high school at the Eleanor Roosevelt Community Learning Center (home school based charter school) in the fall--she is 13 now. 

Your aunt Erin's oldest child, Farrah, is going to celebrate her 3rd birthday on Sunday and we will be with her then. 

I am still working in Fresno, for the newest judge, which is a long drive but fortunately a wonderful job.  Often I'm able to work from home.

Sadly we lost three of our most precious older horses this year, FMR Bay Eagle, Josie, and Shawna Dew.  The rest of our horses and ponies, KuneKune pigs, dogs and cats, as well as the cockatiel, parakeets, and blackbird, are all fine. 

We still hope for the day that we will be able to meet you and become acquainted with the young woman you are becoming.  Until then,
Love,
Your U li si

This photo is from Easter, from left to right:
John (Erin's husband) holding Wallace, their son; Erin, Eleanor, Rex, me, Bill Lovett, dear family friend, Jalene holding her youngest, Sawyer Rose, sitting is her husband Scott, with their second on his lap, River, and Farrah and Finn, in the hat.  Sitting in front of Eleanor is Amelia.

Happy New Year!

Dear Madeline,

We so hope you had a wonderful New Year's Eve and a good day today.  Last night we went out behind the tipi and had a bonfire in the pasture with marshmallows and sparklers left from Independence Day.  The family that lives in "Yokohl Cove" joined us with their three small children and we told stories until it was "New Year in the Eastern Standard Time Zone." 

Today we are relaxing, I'm working on my KuneKune Pig website and Eleanor is riding Remington and then giving Amelia a lesson.  Eleanor is going to stay with a trainer for two weeks this month to prepare for her Pony Club C-2 certification.  She will be jumping 3' to do that. 

Our latest little pigs are growing fast, it's hard to believe they are nearly 4 weeks old!  And our sow, Tillie, is due to farrow very soon!  Today we let them all out to graze and they had a very good day! 

Here is to you and someday meeting and catching up with news.

U li si

 GiGi and Yeti enjoy "petting" their piglet friend.

This is Yeti and GiGi with one of the new babies.

 

They love running around in the grass.  It's about 60 degrees today, and feels even warmer in the sunshine.

 

 

Christmas time at your Great-Grandmother's house.

Dear Madeline,
It's almost a new year.  We think of you often and I especially think of you when I consider all of my grandchildren.  Along with Jalene and Scott's three, there are Erin and John's two as well as his daughter Maya, and Scott's twin brother, Mike, and his wife, Sarah, have girls that I consider grandchildren, Sunora and Pearl.  I'm so blessed they we all live within 40 minutes of each other.

We have taken our piglets and our herd sire to two shows this year and they all did very very well, bringing home ribbons and trophies.

Eleanor studied with Boz all summer and now she is an awesome rider and trainer, as well as being able to trim our horses' hooves now.  She has added a project horse that has come a long way in just a couple of months.  Eleanor is on Facebook as "Eleanor Caudle."

Some sad news this year, we lost three horses.  First, the famous Shawna Dew died at age 33 in January, and FMR Bay Eagle died in February at age 28.  And, Josie, Eleanor's first horse when Eleanor was 8, died this month at age 30.  They all lived to a ripe old age for horses, but they were so important to the family that they are so very missed.

I guess we have resigned ourselves to waiting until you become an adult and decide to contact you father on your own, or you search for your name and find this blog site.  We talk about you, hope you are doing well, and wish you our best, often.

This is Amelia, she is 13 now, with her ribbon for Junior Showmanship Champion.



Here are the ribbons and trophies and prizes we got from the Royal Christmas Show in Chino, CA.



Here we are traveling through Southern California on the way home after the show.

 

Recent photo--tell Jennifer to let Madeline see her daddy.

Dear Madeline,

Just to update you, your dad's sister, Jalene, is married to Scott Welch, and they have three children:  Finn, River, and Sawyer Rose.  They live in Three Rivers just about 40 minutes from Yokohl.  Scott is a biologist and works with desert tortoises.  Jalene teaches gardening at Eleanor Roosevelt Community Learning Center, a home school charter school.  Their house is right on the Kaweah River and they can swim and go boating on it anytime they want.  Finn is riding Indy 500, and River is riding Yokohl Valley Storm.

Erin, also your dad's sister, is married to John McWilliams.  They have two children, Farrah and Wallace (still a baby), and John's daughter Maya, who lives in Virginia with her mother but visits often.  John has an antique shop in Three Rivers and is an expert on Western History. 

Eleanor, your dad's sister, is 20 years old now, and just finished her second year in college as a biology and art major.  She is going to study with a horseman/saddle maker this summer and is very excited.  She is on FaceBook as Eleanor Caudle.  She teaches most of the Pony Club meetings.  She has found a home for her African Gray parrot after his mate died.  She still has her parakeets and Cockatiel, Tangie.  She rides all the horses, but Boeagle is her personal horse.

Amelia is 12 years old and just finished with 7th grade.  She goes to a charter school that supports homeschooling and so she learns most things here on the ranch.  She is interested in computer coding, science, animals and art.  Her personal horse is Sierra Welsh Symphony.

I finished my MBA, and so now I have these degrees:  AA (Agriculture); BA (Philosophy); MBA (Agriculture Business); JD; LL.M. (Agricultural Law).  I still work for a federal judge in Fresno as his "elbow" law clerk.  I think it's the best job in the world!  It is a long drive, but it's worth it to live in Yokohl Valley.

Rex, my husband, and I are working on a project at Quaker Oaks Farm.  Someday I hope I can share that with you!

Until then,

U li si.

Dear Madeline,
We are having so much fun with our little KuneKune pigs.  Tillie had five little piglets and Amelia has a nice time playing with them.  They are so curious!

Tillie is an excellent mother and doesn't mind if we play with her babies.

Below is Galadriel, who we hope will be the next mama.

 Do you see the little tassels under their chins?  These are called "piri piri" and are unique to KuneKune pigs.  These pigs were the village pigs of the indigenous people of Australia, the Maori.  They raised them and only bred the ones that were gentle and easy to live with.  They are gentle, even my boar, Gimli, is safe with young children. 

We went to a KuneKune show a couple of weeks ago and saw a lot of other pigs.  Amelia thought the big boars were scary, but she is very comfortable with Gimli. 

The babies have really grown, they are a month old now.

They are the smallest and most expensive of the hog breeds.  They are expensive because there are not very many of them in the world.  They almost became extinct before the breed was rescued by animal breed preservationists in the 1990's.

We are still having Pony Club at our ranch.  We had a meeting today and your Aunt Jalene got to ride Boeagle, who is the fastest Arabian in the United States at the 1-1/16 mile distance.  Your Aunt Eleanor is training him to be ridden without a bridle.  She has been riding him since she was 14 and he was 12.

Well, I know that your mother is taking good care of you, and I'm sure that someday we'll be able to meet again.  I just want you to be sure to know that we have always been thinking of you and looking forward to when that time would come.  It's really important for you to know that your father loves you and has tried his best to find you and to be able to spend time with you.  I hope that someday when you find this website, you will know that.

Love always,
Your U li si 

Summer Starting

Dear Madeline,

It has been some time since I've posted to your blog.  It is discouraging to not know how you are doing, but I'm sure you are well and growing and learning new things.

We think about you often.

You have some new little cousins.  Your aunt Erin, who is your father's sister, has two children now, Farrah and Wallace.  Your aunt Jalene, also your father's sister, has three, Finn, River, and Sawyer Rose.

Your aunt Eleanor is in college in town, and aunt Amelia is in 7th grade.

I'm posting a few photos from the last couple of weeks.  We are members of the U.S. Pony Clubs organization.  Our club is Kaweah Pony Club.  We meet every Saturday, usually.

We have 15 horses and ponies altogether, and they live on our ranch with us.  We also have five dogs, 8 cats, 4 KuneKune pigs, a blackbird, parrot, and 2 parakeets, and some goldfish that live in the horse troughs.  We used to have a milk cow, but we sold her.

We look forward to the day when we can meet you again and get to know you.  Until then, my love to you.

Amelia and Symphony

Fin cantering on Indy.

River jumping Stormy bareback.

Amelia jumping Symphony.  It took a lot of courage to try the vertical bar.

Finn is trying to reach the polocrosse ball with his racket while Indy stands patiently.





These are the children at Friends Meeting preparing to hunt for Easter Eggs.

 

This is River on Stormy.  She's watching Amelia riding Symphony.

Dear Madeline,

It's another holiday season.  We all hope that you are well and having a good school year.  Your father is still working to get through all of the mathematics needed to get into the program he is interested in. 

Your aunt Erin got married last summer.  Your new Uncle Jack is an antique dealer and they enjoy going to shows and buying and selling interesting stuff.

Before the wedding we all went to Monterey where Erin and Jack took an all-day Kayak lesson.  This is your aunts Erin and Eleanor, there is me with your aunt Amelia in front of me.  Jack and his daughter, Maya, are on the right.

Eleanor is 18 and she is a senior this year.  She has added parrots to her interests and has two Amazon Congo parrots, a male and female.  She and Amelia share a pair of parakeets, and also a foundling blackbird girl. 

I hope that someday you are able to see this blog and know that we thought about you often, and always wished the best for you.

Dear Madeline,
Well it looks like it will be another summer vacation in which you won't be able to visit you dad, since none of us know where you are or how to reach you.  I thought I'd catch you up on what your dad and family are doing.

Your dad has a summer job with the U.S. Forest Service.  He is part of a team that searches for the Spotted Owls in the Sequoia Monument and tries to find their nests so that they can be protected from logging activities.  He stays up in the mountains during the week, and comes home on the weekends.

Your aunt Erin is on board a ship in Alaska counting Salmon!  She will come home in September.  She graduated with her marine biology degree in December and this is her first deployment as an "Alaska Observer."  Her training was 3 weeks long and very intensive.

Your aunt Eleanor finished her sophomore year and has a lot of plans for the summer.  She's going to spend time painting and also training her horses.  

Your aunt Amelia finished third grade and is reading and writing in both Spanish and English, but she really shines in math.

Grandma Mildred is scheduled to play at a music festival this fall with the band she and Papa have, Groundspeed.

Your aunt Jalene is busy with Finn and River and working on their new house while Uncle Scott is going to be joining his twin brother in the desert where they relocate tortises that are threatened by development.  They enjoy being out in nature.

I am still working at the court and also teaching a class at the law school.  It makes for long days in Fresno.

The horses and cats and dogs and the goat and chickens, the pigeon and the fish, all are doing fine, and the quail!  We would sure like to see you for a visit someday.

Love,

Your U li si

Dear Madeline,

Hey, I wish you could see the photos I've dug out--some are of you when I came to see you right after you were born.

Here is your Aunt Eleanor (she was 5 years old) holding you.

And here I am, holding you in my arms.

Your father was graduating from Spartan at that time, here he is right after his graduation.

Before that, your father brought your mother to visit us in California.

Your Aunt Jalene, Aunt Eleanor, and I, saw your father off when he left California to go to Spartan in Oklahoma.

Here are some of my favorite photos of your father when he was about your age.

This is a Christmas photo of our family when your dad was young.

Your dad is the little blond boy in the black sweatshirt with writing on it.  Your great grandmother and grandfather are sitting on the couch. 

Finally, here is a photo of your great-great grandmother Giva Roberts, with your great-grandmother, Mildred Roberts.

This is at Easter.  Your Aunt Erin is sitting on Great-grandmother Mildred's lap.  Your dad is the little boy in the Osh Kosh B'Gosh bibbie overalls in the background!

Dear Madeline,

I just checked to see if your Christmas gift arrived--I see that it was delivered to your grandmother's house on New Year's Eve, at 3:30!  It was mailed to you and your mom, in care of your grandmother. 

We hope that you like Samantha!  Amelia received Samantha's friend, Nellie.  River, your cousin, received Kirstin. 

Dear Madeline,

We mailed your gifts at last. We were waiting until we could get together for a photo, but we finally just decided to send them to you.

Your Dad said that if he wrapped them, you'd be able to tell, because it isn't very neat.

We sent them by Priority Mail, with delivery confirmation, so we'd be sure that you could get them.

We mailed them to your Grandmother's house, because that's where your mother told us to send things for you.  We don't have any other address for you.

We hope you get your birthday presents this year!  We will try to send you a Christmas gift this year, also.  We don't know if you have gotten any of your gifts.

We want you to know that we think about you. Amelia keeps asking when you are going to come and visit.

Yokohl Valley in the Summertime

Eleanor's photograph:  "Without Dreams, Nothing Would Ever Change."

I hope you had a wonderful Birthday day, and a wonderful year!

Your U li si and the rest of your family on this side of the mountains.

Happy Birthday!

Dear Madeline,
Wow, today is your birthday!.  I remember when I saw you just  a few weeks after you were born.  It was very special to see you father holding you.  He was so proud of you!  I have a photo of me holding you, and of you and you're little aunt Eleanor, who was 5 years old then.  Wow, time really passes quickly.

We have chosen some small gifts to send to you for your birthday.  It would be lovely if we could wish you happy birthday in person, but we don't know where you live, and we don't know your phone number.  So, the best that we can do is to send you these gifts in care of your grandmother Elizabeth and hope that she gives them to you, along with our cards and photographs that we are sending.

Behind the mustang book, are the photos that we brought to Oklahoma the last time we travelled there, hoping to see you.

Someday, I know that we will be able to get to know one another.  I have a DVD of the time when your great grandmother, Mildred, visited you in Oklahoma.  It's very sweet.

I am guessing that you like music, because your dad told me that you play the piano and because your family on this side is very musical.  I'm guessing that you might be good at art, because of the same thimg.  And, I'm thinking you might love horses, because that seems to be common with the girls in our family!

With love,
Your U li si